Fara FairyTale

2010-01-14T12:17:00.002+08:00

I really want to update.

But whenever i went to blogger, the mind just goes blank.

Sorry to those who's willing to read.

2009-12-31T16:55:00.004+08:00

Planned not to work today but i received a call at 10plus asking me to go back to work..

No point getting angry and frustrated cause nobody would even bother.

On a lighter note, the other half bought me hair inserts and i'm freaking excited!!!

Have an awesome party tonite and Happy New Year!!

2009-12-28T10:53:00.004+08:00

Its Monday yet again after a 3 day break from work. If not because of the shipment for NSS, i would have just continued my beauty sleep.

So, dragged myself to work. Leave home at 7.10am. Reached office at 8.07am.

Friday was supposed to have the barbecued lunch with the family and each of our other halves. But had to cancelled it because, one, we have no mood. two, one of the siblings other half could not make it. three, because of that the mum cant be bothered to prepare. End up, mum cooked nasi lemak and the four of us had to be contented with it. (i tink by now, you shd know, who cant make it.)

While eating our late lunch lunch, the four of us planned where to go. First, planned to go town, but lil sis and Fuad did not want to be associated with the large crowds. Then me and the other half planned to got to 313@Somerset, but tak jadi also. In the end, all four of us train-ed to AMK Central and watch Avatar at Jubilee.

Avatar was superb and now i wanna watch the 3D version, (cause i watch the digital one at AMK). Movie ended and i told the other half i wanna be in Navi land, cause they are all blue (my fav! colour) and have svelte figures and toned bodies. hahah.

Then me, lil sis and Fuad cabbed home while the other half bus-ed home all the way to Bedok. The joke of the day to me, was when Fuad chatted with the 7-11 guy regarding the milk tea bottle. I do not know why but it sure makes me smile. And when i told lil Sis abt it, she said she's used to Fuad over-friendliness. hahah. Those two kids really make my day.

On Saturday, the plan was to stay at home cause the other half was supposedly working. He called me at 10am (nak bangun lambat pun tak bole!) then told me he do not want to work. So i get up, do abit of housework and told the parents that i'm going out. But they told me to go breakfast with them first. Uurgh. Ok so i follow and found out that we are having breakfast at somewhere near the Sembawang Park. Double Uurgh. I hate that place coz its ulu and there are birds and dogs frolicking around aimlessly.

Had nasi padang which make me full to the brim. Reached home and quickly get ready and train-ed all the way to Bedok. Btw, love my outfit tat day. Bodysuit and skinnies. Sorry no pics taken. haha.

Reached Bedok and it was raining cats and dogs. No point using the brolly, coz i was wet all over. Met the other half, walked to a halal thai-chinese restaurant and waited for the rest of his family to arrive. (That was the first time i eat with his family.)

After that, his fam went home and i followed him to cut his hair. Coz it was still pouring, we headed back to his crib and chilled and played silly games and around six we make a move to Tampines.

We roamed all the malls at Tampines (Century Square/Tampines Mall & Tampines One) and shopped abit and had our dinner at Secret Recipe in which i did not finish all my food. (Coz the food that i ate for breakfast and lunch, still haven't digest. haha)

Then we bus-ed home. And the joke for the day, was when the other half talk to me in Malay. And he made me burst into laughters right there in the bus. lol.

Stayed home on sunday and the other half said some hurtful words which ended up with me crying. And right now, i'm not talking to him nicely. What's new aye? make me happy one moment, and the next, i'm crying my hearts out. >_<

Have to get back to work now. have not been doing any, since the moment i stepped into the office. and its already 11.45am.

Have a good week ahead!

2009-12-20T13:33:00.001+08:00

I want to dye my hair jet black.

I want to rebond my hair again.

I want to put on hair extensions.

But somehow, i know i wont get it.

2009-12-18T10:29:00.005+08:00

I've been feeling all stressed up and extremely sad for the past few days.

Whats with the never ending problems at work, home and with the other half.

Work is hell. First and foremost, I have been arriving late for work for every single day.

Cant seem to wake up on time and always, always leaving home at 715am when i'm supposed

to start work at 8am.

There seems to be alot of work to do. Purchasing, shipping and other nitty gritty stuffs.

When I thought everything was okay, then something will definitely cropped up.

And it doesnt help also, when you have a colleague who pass almost everything to you.

I tried to be as organized as possible but when the workload gets too much, everything will go haywire.

And to add to my workload, I have to think about the situation at home.

If not because of the problems at home, i would have quit the job.

The dad. Sometimes I just do not understand what he really want us to do.

When we let him have his way, he will take advantage.

And when we don't, he look so pathetic that will leave us all feeling guilty.

Plus, he's at home all day and night and literally, leaving all the problems for us to settle.

I hate seeing the mum so so sad. I hate it when the moment i reached home from work, she would pour all the details on me.

As the eldest daughter, i feel like shit that I cannot do anything to help.

I cannot shout or scold at the dad for fear of him leaving the house.

I cannot confront or talk to him face to face as his ego is as huge as the universe.

Even if I managed to talk to him, I cant talk to him nicely, because i will just cry, cry, cry

or be very very rude to him.

The other half. He's the bulk of my stress.

I really do not know where to start with him.

Its like we are drifting apart from each other as days goes by. Its like we only love each other

only when we meet. But when we are not together, its like we are friends.

Yes, we do text each other. But its not the same.

We do not chat every night anymore. Because he always wants to sleep early or he will be too tired/sleepy to chat with me. And when he does that, he does not even give me a good night text, even if its just to make me feel a bit better.

I always, always let him rest on the days we do not meet. Even so, he still do not want to chat with me. And when i let him rest, he either go out fishing or go chill with his friends.

When he go fishing, he will be home late and i would be asleep by then.

And when he chill with his friends after work, by the time he reach home, all he want to do is sleep. Without thinking, that i was waiting to talk to him

Where is the time for me? Weekends?

Thats only 1 freaking day on the weekend.

Cause on weekends, its either he's working or have stupid plans with his friends.

So, what does he need me for??

I do not want to waste another five years of my life for nothing.

I wanted him to be my prince charming.

I wanted him to be the one i wanted to marry.

I wanted him to be the guy that would pick up the pieces of my broken heart.

and

I chosed him over the rest.

But what do I get in the end?

Retribution. My retribution.

2009-12-11T15:47:00.003+08:00

Fridayyyyyyyyyy!!!!

This morning on my way to work, i saw an ex NBSS classmate. I just pretended I did not recognize him. And he did the same thing too. Haha!

There's alot of work today. Trying to clear all my PRs and I just cant wait to do my filing. Makes my rack all messy. Uurgh.

Few days back a colleague approach me trying to sell me perfumes and lip gloss. He also tried to coax me to join him. And today I do not know why he assume that I somehow had agreed to his deal and told me to meet his other colleagues tomorrow. I mean what the hell. So I told him, sorry i do not wan it. What makes me wonder, did i even say yes to whateva he said? As far as i can remember, all I did was to say yes yes or no no.

And what has it got to do with him if i buy perfumes that is way more expensive in S'pore??

And what has it got to do with him that i've extremely dry lips?? Its not that i'm gonna kiss him. Bluek!!

stupid ass!!

Gotta clear out my nails and paint it another colour. Nails look so so ugly. Need to buy the remover later and i'm stuck between the colour bright red or black.

Tomorrow Saturday, and I do not know where to go. The other half thought of going to take pictures and just chill at the place. Thought of going wif Lil Sis and Fuad which I do not mind. But me on the hand, feels like changing my hair colour and going rebonding. Aiyah, so confused one.

Below are pics of the outfits i put on yesterday and today.

Have a great weekend!!!!!

2009-12-09T16:22:00.003+08:00

Three Things.

1. Woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.

2. Work seems to be neverending.

3. The other half will be working till tomorrow evening.

On a side note, today's outfit!

1 hour more before I can get the hell outta here.

Endure Rara. Endure!

2009-12-08T15:51:00.004+08:00

I am so so dumb when it comes to HTML codes and the likes of it. Been trying extremely hard to put a background image. which i sumhow did but the problem lies when the image doesnt repeat itself. tried and tested for several times and makes me lost all mood to update. heh.

So i give up and kept pestering the lil Sis for help but till now, my blog looks the same. >_<

Nothing exciting happens to my life for the past two weeks or so. Just the normal routine of work, the other half and home. Work is mundane as ever. Shuffled between purchasing and shipping.

At home is normal, just normal problems here and there, but nonetheless it is still a-okay.

The other half? well, he's just the other half. ha!

Oh ya managed to meet my gfs last Friday and we were sephora-ing. make it they was sephora-ing, while i just follow them around. haha. and and and we planned for some getaway to a resort just the three of us! pics were taken but its on each of their phones and they still have not upload it up on FB. >_<

Oh, last sunday, after a date with the other half, i was walking home alone (the other half had to catch the last bus @ wdls) & walking slowly (coz i was in sky-high heels), i saw 3 bikes on their way out to the main road, when the 3rd bike nak step 'corner baring' and i said to myself tat it was so scary and soon after, i heard a screech and i saw two boys kneeling on the road, looking dazed.

I was in utter shocked, that i walk more slowly. one step at a time coz my knees went all soft.haha!

Reach the accident spot and saw the boys at the pavement, laughing their hearts out like the whole scene never happen. hahahha! i was just scaring myself out when the boys themselves is oblivious. hahah. as much as i looove bikes, i just hate the accidents.

and to spur me to update regularly, i decided to post pictures of my everyday to work outfit. lol!

and this is wat i've put on today (see above). i look like an elephant. lol!

tats all. tata titi tutu!

2009-11-24T16:53:00.009+08:00

Finally got some free time from work to update. Been busy at work these past few days coz i took leave last Friday and there was tonnes of work on my desk on the Monday. Plus the colleague is on 2 days leave. Leaving me with all the work.

So as some as you might know, it was the Mum birthday last Saturday. It was a mini celebration. No lavish affair. Had barbecue at home and a chocolate cake for her. The "banner" below was created by the lil brother. Sweet aye?

So that was on Saturday. The other half was out on boat fishing and lets just say, i wasnt in a good mood. Sunday, i was stuck at home again and was about to go mad. haha.

Played Scrabble with Dad, Lil Sis and Tati. Had a great time with the sis making silly mistakes that make all of us literally, rolling on the floor laughing.

The two snapshots above was taken while i was waiting for my turn to form a word. LOL!

Yesterday, after work went to meet the other half. Planned to go to AMK hub but we ended up at Newton food Centre. All i can say is, sometimes, the other half really knows how to win me over.

The purpose of this whole entry is to tell that i'm in love with these two guys.

Matsumoto Jun

Lee Min Ho

I am currently obsessed with the drama. It has 3 different versions. Japanese, Korean and Taiwanese. And and and i have watch all 3 of them. The storyline is more or less the same. But whats different is those two guys out there. Makes me all melted with their smile. I love the wat they shower the heroines with their loves. But the disadvantage is, i keep comparing the other half with them. LOL!

I'm not good at explaining. Why dont you watch it online yourself.

Korean one is Boys Over Flowers (above)

Japanese one is Hana Yori Dango (above)

Taiwanese one is Meteor Garden (above)

ok thats all. wanna pack and get the hell outta here. bye!

2009-11-20T22:12:00.003+08:00

Just got home from seeing the other half.. Met him at 6.15 pm and i'm already at hm now which is 10.15pm. Only managed to spend 4 short hours with him. And i hv to wait till Monday to see him. Tat is if he is not tired..

I met him at AMK hub/central, had dinner at LJS and just walk around aimlessly. and all the while he was being so so nice to me and all i did was be extremely harsh back to him.

He kept saying "i love yous" but i totally ignored him. When we were standing at the escalator or sumting, he wud wait for me to hug him but i would just look away. But he still doesnt mind all that, and keep stroking, hugging and kissing me..

Went back to Sembawang, and we chilled at a plc near my void deck. Sit down and take silly pictures but he never stopped showering me with love and i never stopped being bitchy. I feel a bit better but when it seems like he cant wait to go home, it dampens my spirit and makes me more temperamental.

Argued again regarding the fishing and abt me having little friends again. He said something that hurt and make my tears well up. But i managed not to cry. He apologises but i do not care.

He sent me home. Usually, i wud salam and kiss and hug him, then he will go off. But just now, all i did was to salam him and i told him i dun wan to hug or kiss. He looked hurt and we both just walk off.

Go into my room trying hard not to cry. He text me something and i told him not to call me any affectionate name.

He 's in the bus now on the way home and here i am pouring out feelings.

And to you, my other half, it hurts me to treat you like this and it hurts me more seeing you get hurt because of my behaviour. But as i said, i'm doing all this because i do not want to miss you or think about you.

This is the reason why, i do not want to fall deeply, deeply in love. At the end of the day, i'm the one who gets hurt real bad..

Lao Gong, i love you..

I really do..

2009-11-18T14:16:00.003+08:00

Mum woke me up at 6.45 am today and i was practically rushing off to work. Punched the time card at exactly 8.15 am. And i leisurely stroll into the office :)

Quite busy today. With alot of POs and last minute shipments. But by lunchtime, i was left with not much things to do. And the best thing is, the Boss is on halfday leave today. So there's no "government" and i can just act busy :)

Feeling very lethargic and tired today. Maybe its the PMS. and its making me so so parched. and on top of it, it makes me very hot tempered.

Argued again with the other half again for the countless time yesterday night. But I managed to sleep it off only because i was sleepy and tired.

Sometimes, i just feel that the other half do not understand me and he expects me to understand him. It v v unfair. I know that he has his own hobby and friends. And i do admit that i am jealous that he has truckloads of friends and activities while i'm just stuck between home and work and him. Its not that i'm trying to control him or something, but i just hate the fact that he's going to leave me for some stupid fishing somewhere. Ya i understand that it is his hobby but why cant he try to be fair to me? I know he is trying very hard to be fair to me but sometimes i cant help feeling that he is just trying to please me so that he can go fish without any worries.

And to be fair to the other half, i did push myself to adapt to his lifestyle. I forced myself to go with the flow with him. But sometimes, it just seem too much. Sometimes i just cant take it. And if i cant take it, all i want to do is get mad and be angry. And we will both end up arguing.

I hate being left alone. I hate to be stuck at home on the weekends. I hate to think that he will be having fun outside while i'll be stuck at home.

But then again, no point saying, because i'm the one to be blamed for not being understanding.

No matter how hard i try to push the feeling away, at the end of the day,

i'm still the one who gets hurt real bad.

PS: Between fishing and jamming, i prefer jamming.

:) :)

2009-11-16T13:57:00.003+08:00

Currently seated at my workstation trying extremely hard not to fall asleep..

Both Ed & Hamis is on half day leave leaving me all alone with the Boss. Work is such a bore nowadays. Whether there is work or no work to do, it is still a bore. There seems to be a lot of foreigners in the office today. A few of them from Japan and we have a new IT guy who seems to be a Filipino. I'm not sure actually. Cant make it out. yet. hahah. I'm supposed to have a Safety Talk, but i tink the PIC is not here. So i cant be bothered and shall wait to be called. hahah.

Put on a dress that is not suitable for a Monday. Actually it is not even suitable to go to work with. But i dun care. Coz the dress was a last minute thingy and i was in a no mood to dress up.

Meeting the bf later after work and i cant wait coz i miss him so so much.

oh ya, talking abt the bf, this morning when i wake up, i do not noe why my heart was filled with so much love for him. coz normally, it will just be, well, normal. Maybe coz on Sunday, i was missing him too much and was stuck at home and tat make me tink abt our relationship. I began to realise how much he loves me till the extend he can endure everything abt me. my temperament, my bitchiness, my whims & fancies, my highs & my lows, my most ugly and beautiful moments. everything. and still he loves me.

what i cudnt get from my previous relationship, he can give it to me. when he read my previous blog entry (the one whr i said the Ex texted me ), he said he doesnt mind and all he should do is to be more attentive on me..

My mind suddenly goes blank. do not noe what to blog abt anymore. The purpose of this entry is to simply say, that i'm freaking bored.

2009-11-15T15:02:00.004+08:00

Its such a hot hot day today.. and i'm at home rite now missing the boyfren like crazy..

ydae was fun. i spent a whole day wif him. but even so its neva enuff. we met at town and omg, i love the way he dress. then we made our way to FEP and had our brunch at Nana Thai. Then we walk around aimlessly around FEP and he bought himself a Burberry perfume and i asked him to treat me to hair extensions.

after that we walk to the bus stop in front of Lucky Plaza and took bus no 7 to his house. Chilled at his house and we both fell asleep till 7. hahaha. then we went off and he sent me home. and now, he is at work and i'm missing him so so badly.he just called me and when i heard his voice, tears welled up. OMG, i miss him so so much.

just now, me, sis n aunt go to Adam road to take away bfast for the family. so far just for breakfast.

ok bye, wanna go paint my nails.

Uncle Heng, i rindu u!

2009-11-13T13:28:00.002+08:00

yes, i noe the blogskin is v v kental. but this is the only good looking one on my work pc. plus i'm just plain dumb when it comes to html and being creative. so just bear with it ok. ha ha ha ha ha!

so ya, internet at work has been restored, and from the moment i stepped into office till now, i've been on the internet. and i have alot of work waiting for me. but bcoz its been a rainy friday, i'm in a lazy mode.

had an argument with the BF ydae nite for the countless time. and me being stubborn and all that. doesnt want to pick up any of his calls and reply to his text messages.

The EX texted me this at 11.05am just now.

** Hey, i got a confession to make. I dunnoe wat wrg wif me. lately, i'm starting
to keep seeing 'shadows' of u everywhere, at werk, outside, wif my frenz,anywhere.
It may sound crazy, but i tink n i'm having repeated flshbacks of being wif u
and all ur smiles, hugs, kisses everyting. At times, i tot of mitting u, but i tot
u wudn want it. So i did not ask. Sori.. **
*speechless*

going to submit timesheet after work today and going to rot at home during the weekends. Bleah.

2009-11-08T13:55:00.003+08:00

The bf just got home this morning and he's now in his own wonderland. I am so so effing bored at home. What I wish for right now wud be, he waking up soon asking me out. which I doubt it will never happen. coz when guys sleep, they sleep like a log and forget abt everything.

and i'm not praising myself, but i think i'm slowly changing. but on the other hand, i do not noe whether i'm changing for him or that my love for him is decreasing day by day. i give u an example. i am always demanding for whis whole-hearted attention, i dun care, whether he is busy at work or fishing or even chilling at home. i will make sure he call or text me or aniting that will make me feel a whole lot better.

but nowadays, i dun seem to care. he can be quiet for as long as two or three hours and i wudnt even bother asking. i'll be just waiting for his call or msgs. same as wanting to meet up. if he isnt keen in meeting me up, then i also wont say aniting. i will wait for him to say it or come looking for me.

i do hope i still can endure all this.

i am so so bored and lonely. it sux to have lil frens. i cant help but to feel a tinge of jealousy, when i read up others blog who have tonnes of frens or see them going out with their frens. when i'm always, always at home most of the time.
thats why i always say, my life only revolves around my family, work and the bf.
its not that its not good, but sometimes it just get so so bored.

i'm blabbering too much. bye.

2009-11-05T21:40:00.003+08:00

Date: 04 November 2009

Time: 0047Hours

Me: Happy Birthday!

Him: Thanx. Sape ni?

Me: *roll eyes*

After which I hang up, heart stinging with pain.

yes, i noe i am dumb. plain dumb.

but my stupidity doesnt end there.

went home aft work, and mum say He text me.

i read it and he said,

"Oh thanx for remembering. i barely recognized ur voice"

>_< >_<

i did not replied till abt eleven plus.

i text him,again.

"How was ur bday celebration?"

he replied:

"Great wif my GF"

It left me dumbfounded and speechless but i managed

to reply:

"Yay!"

then i switch off the Mum hp and went to my room holding back my tears.

heart stinging with terrible, terrible pain.

i managed to fought back the tears.

before i went to bed chat wif the BF, thought of telling him abt wat happen

but was

cut short cause we ended up arguing for stupid reasons.

again.

both fed up, hang up, and went to sleep.

so today, we both surprisingly was in a good mood.

met the Bf after work, had dinner and we bus-ed home.

This time, thankfully, no arguments.

Just joking, playing, hugging & kissing each other.

reach hm, Mum said, got msg from Him again.

he said:

"Wats the Yay abt??"

but this time, i did not reply.

coz i think enough is enough.

2009-11-03T21:13:00.002+08:00

Not feeling too well today. i dono why i feel so bloated.

been feeling kinda down these few days. its like i wan to pour out my heartfelt feelings but i just cant. its like no point saying what i want coz ppl will still dun undastand me.

wats worse is, i dun noe why i'm acting and behaving this way.

all i noe is, deep deep in my heart, its all bcoz i still cant get over that person. up till now, he is the cause of all my miseries. there was neva a day that pass by, that i wont think of him. sumting, sumwhere, sumone, will definitely make me think of him.

stumbled upon sumting ydae that made me wonder who will say that. no, i'm not making a sob story for myself. u can just see my negative points, but u do not noe the real me. yes, i noe i have made alot of mistakes. but all these mistakes happen when i'm without him. and no, i am not a good girl. but its not up to u to judge me.its my life and i will live the way i want it to be. i'm sorry if i hurt all of u.

tomorrow is his birthday and really i dun wish to wish him.but on another thought, i wan to be the last person to wish him. i noe he is happy with sumone prettier now. and i shd be moving on.

met the bf just now and we always ended up quarrelling & argueing..

2009-11-02T20:52:00.002+08:00

hey..

i do not noe why i suddenly got the mood to blog now.

nothing much going on in my life. just the same normal routine of work, family n the bf.

i feel so down today. maybe its bcoz i'm too tired from work or from thinking too much.

how i wish, i have a best fren. make that a guy best fren pls.

will blog again soon.

2009-07-20T19:48:00.002+08:00

The reason for me not updating frequently, is bcoz, i cannot surf the internet anymore at work. so, no blogging, FB-ing, gaming and blog hopping. its just work, work and more work till 5.30 pm. All thanx to tat nyonya at work. i do not know why, some ppl still havent mature or grow up at the age of fifty.

Nothing much happen in my life the past week.just normal stuff tat i always do. Work, family and boyfriend.

My mind's in a blank now. Its just tat i'm missing my Hubby Apek so so much. Padahal semalam baru jumpe. haha.

oklah, have a good week ahead peepz.

2009-07-14T12:15:00.002+08:00

Its lunchtime now and i'm still contemplating whether to eat or not.

Drag myself to work this morning after skipping work yesterday coz i'm one of the sureties for brother's signing on to the S'pore Police Force. and all i can say was tat it was a total waste of my time.should have just given him my IC and ask him to forge my signature. haha.

Hubby just got home from overnite fishing just now and he is sleeping rite now.He caught alot fishes and will be giving me 5 stingrays. i am missing him like crazy.have to wait till thursday then i can see him. aiyohh...

Yesterday, after the signing, me, mum, dad & bro went to the Tekka market coz all of us was hungry, hungry hippo. We had briyani chicken n beef n mutton soup and bro, had mee goreng. after tat, bro head out wif his friends and me n parents bus-ed home.

having difficulties breathing since yesterday and its making me feel so so weak.

As you can see, my life only revolves around work, family and hubby. Friends? i dont deserve them, cause i do not know how to appreciate them.
I got so jealous seeing people with loads of friends.
But then again, i have no one else to blame except myself.

when i have friends who everytime ask me out and who have time, unfortunately, i have a jealous ex-bf who dun let me go out with them.
and now, when i'm attached to a very undastanding one, friends seem to dissappear.
it doesnt help tat i dun make the first move..

pls Rara, dun try to create a sob story for yourself.

on a brighter side, i am grateful for a loving family and a wonderful boyfriend.

2009-07-12T14:08:00.003+08:00

Currently at hm now with the brother. Parents went to visit the uncle at the hospital. Lil Sis is out working. Hubby Apek went to a fishing shop just now and here i am waiting for him to come hm so i can webcam with him.

The pic above was taken last Friday after work, Went for an interview at Kaki Bukit and while Hubby waits for me at the carpark, he saw the car and quickly told me abt it. and all i can say is the car was fucking awesome.

Had some problems in the office last Thursday & Friday and its driving me & Edwin mad. But its all over now and we just have to endure another 3 more weeks.

Its so bored at hm and i feel like seeing my Hubby. But if i were to meet him, then i will be home late and will be tired for work tomorrow.

gonna stop my blabbering here. Have a great week ahead.

2009-07-07T10:09:00.003+08:00

I am not in a good mood.
My entry is going to be wordy n long today. So, if u wan to read, just read. If not, go play far far.

Hubby went fishing yesterday wif his kakis at Pulau Ubin and semalam jgk, my mum invited Eka & Fuad to my house for dinner. so everybody had their own partner except for me. felt abit left out but theres nothing i can do abt it. ;(
but then again, everybody had fun laughing & joking around so it makes me feel a wee bit better.

work totally sux to the max yesterday.sumting happen n sumone got mad out of the sudden and it totally makes me have no mood to work. i do not how sumone can be so hypocritical.was in an effing bad mood for the most of the day. drop a few tears but still did not make me feel any better.and it was made worse when the fucking HR rep said i cud not take the company transport.

managed to finish all my work but that sumone just had to pass some of their work to me, with the reason for me to practise.so force to do it. while doing it, my bestest colleague, Edwin, suddenly msn-ed me asking me to cool down and gave alot of advises.it did make me feel better coz he noes what is going on around the office.so ya, was in a lighter mode when he said all tat.and then Justin offered me a slurpee which i declined coz it was too cold, but tat was enuff to show tat sumone cares for me in the office and i was a happy girl till work ends. ;p

on the bus when hubby called me saying he was going fishing at Ubin. and it totally dampens my high spirits. then upon reaching woodlands, mum called inviting hubby for dinner at my house. told her wat happen & nearly raised my voice at her n feel guilty for tat.and there goes the rest of my mood..

do not noe why every single things makes me pissed off these days.

and this morning while otw to work, a couple makes me boiling mad and frustrated.i always see this mid-30s couple at Jurong East mrt every single day.didnt bother me too much until one day i cant help but to notice the lady, kept looking at me from head to toe.so i look at her and she look away.so i buat bodoh.then as the days goes by,wheneva i walk or stand, the guy will whisper sumting to the lady and both will look at me.it makes me effing mad and theres nothing i can do and i fucking hate it.

and so, today i was wearing red. and i am a sucker for wearing matching things. Meaning, red top plus black skinnies, red scarf, red earrings, red high-heeled shoes & red eyeshadow.to me it was not over the top but these couple was looking at my red eyeshadow and making comments. so i just stared angrily and both totally shut up and look away.

i dont undastand why they are so fucking kepo. i think the lady is just jealous. jealous tat i am young and i am able to carry myself in bright, bright colours. the more u see n make comments abt me the more i'm walking tall.and one day, i'm gonna wear bright yellow complete with matching yellow eyeshadow and purposely walk in front of you. so, eat your heart out bitch.

Kecik kecik taknak mampos, dah besar menyusahkan orang.

2009-07-05T16:02:00.004+08:00

At home now on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Going out for dinner later with the family together with aunty and uncle Michael.

So last Friday, after work, we had the makan-makan affair with the whole relatives from my mum side. We went to the Rasa Istimewa Seafood located at the Choa Chu Kang park connector. i do not now why they set up an eatery in a park full of mosquitoes. and throughout the nite, the mosquitoes was feasting on me while i'm feasting on the food glorious food. haha. we were made up of around 20plus ppl and u can imagine our kecoh-ness. hehe.

so yesterday, the day was well spent wif my Hubby Apek. hehe!meet at ard 1 plus at causeway point and we had our late lunch at Banquet cause we both were craving for the oyster omelette. then after that we took 168 and proceed to his house. Lepak-ed at his house, watching the movie Obsessed and bus-ed home after that..

its back to work tomorrow and i am really, really dreading it..

Just wanna share with you how sweet my Hubby Apek is.
Below is an excerpt of our text messages.

Hubby: Whats wrong with your phone baby?
Me: Wats wrong wif it? Nothing wat.
Hubby: I tried to call so may times but whenever I call it then
it say the subscriber you are trying to reach is in your heart.
hehehe. sweet rite. melted seh aku bace dlm taxi. hahah.
was speechless till i do not now what to reply.

The other day, he send me this:
You r the first thing I think about when I wake up.
Just by thinking of you put the biggest smiles on my face.
Every love song i listen to, I think of you.
I will do anything in this world for you coz
you are my world and everything.
Baby, i love you!
and this morning, he send me this,
U r the most pretty lady i've ever seen baby.
did u know tat i kept looking at my hp wallpaper?
I love u and I always will and I notice u have change
ever since u r with me.
Lets just continue our journey baby.

and as per normal, i dont reply coz i was speechless.
and i need to think wat to reply as i am not good wif my words.
so here u go babyboy,

thank you for loving me for who i am.
i may be the most rudest/spoilt gf u've ever had,
but deep deep down inside,
u do not noe how much i love u.
Let our love be forever.
Wo hen ai ni, lao gong.

2009-07-03T11:54:00.002+08:00

In the office, chatting with hubby thru msn rite now coz i have basically nothing much to do at work..

its a gloomy day at work today. the company is having their retrenchment and those getting retrenched are all huddled together saying their goodbyes.its such a sad scene tat i was just seated at my desk not wanting to get involved.

what saddens me most is tat, my favourite storeman, is gone too. now only left the old man whom i hate to work with.since i dun wan to see him go, i did not even went to the store, fearing that i would cry ;( . i am totally in fragile mode seh.

back at home, its another problem.its still not over yet. praying that the matter will blow over soon.

might be having a makan session with the fam plus relatives later. totally not in the mood to mingle and be jolly. and to make its worse, i am feeling ugly today. bad hair day. bad make-up day. put on a romper and its so troublesome when i wan to pee-pee. hahaha. and i shd hv put on heels just now. wud atleast makes me feel better.

do not noe why, nowadays, i like wearing heels. all thanx to hubby. wanna make me look mature. hahaha.

i tink tats wordy enuff. hahaha. have a ggrreeaatt weekend y'all!

2009-07-02T10:41:00.002+08:00

Received not- so- good news as soon as i reach the office. it makes me totally cant focus on my work. Wats worse is, i have to put on a smile on my face when in actual fact, i am on the verge of tears.

i really do not undastand what he wants. All i noe is, he has been hiding a whole lot of things from us. And when we asked him abt him, he will keep denying it all the way. and when push comes to shove, he just go mad and scolds and beat up everyone. and theres nothing that we can do, except to just cry out loud and let him be. secretly hoping that he realises his mistake.
but when it all gets better, he act as per normal and thought we would just forget it and move on. and he will be back to square one. and this cycle will continue again.

even when evidence is showed right to his face, he will still keep denying, keep lying.
why are u so fucking egoistic? we are really trying to save ur face here. u dun realise tat u r not even helping urself.

i am clueless on what to do next.i feel like giving up.but when i look at her face, i get more depressed and when i look at him, the rage in me is overflowing.

I have to be strong for them, even tho i noe i am not.
Ya Allah, pls pls dont let me crumble..

On a lighter note, despite shopping-ing yesterday nite, i reach office at 730am today. thanx to Hubby for waking me up a gazillion times. ;p
Wo hen xiang ni, u know??

I really wants this to be settle fast. I will do all my best.
A note for you, i forgive but i dont forget.

2009-07-01T08:46:00.003+08:00

Practically dragging my self to work nowadays. Not sure whether i'm just plain lazy (which is obvious) or tired or because of the current situation in the office. There seems to be alot of work for me to do and alot of things for me to learn. Its not tat I cant do it, but I just hate it when i'm trying to finish my things, and there some ppl are giving me work to when they actually can do it themselves. And they give excuses that its for me to practice when my table is fully loaded with work. What frustrates me most is tat, when i'm cracking my brains, there they are playing games on FB. tsk.tsk.

and if you are wondering, why i have time to blog rite at this moment, its because its the start of a new month and the account dept are doing some updates on the system and we cant do nothing except acting busy.will be "acting" till maybe after lunch. hoho.

went out wif hubby yesterday and reach home late. and because of that i woke up effing late today. thnx to mummy for waking me up or i wont be at work again today.

Might be going shopping with the Mum n Lil Sis today after work. Definitely will be home late and theres a fifty percent chance, i'm going to be late again for work tomorrow. :p

Seeing the pic above, makes me smile from ear to ear. That is my (not so) lil sister. She just started work at Ritz Carlton yesterday and i hope she's happy with it.

Continue next time. Need the toilet!
PS: Pic taken from Eka Mendez blog! Thnx!

2009-06-26T08:18:00.002+08:00

i wake up this morning feeling guilty as ever.

i wonder, why i turn out his way. wat the hell is wrong with me. because of my stupidity, i always, always hurt my loved ones. why hv i become such a spoiled & arrogant bitch?

and to you, i'm really sorry. and if you wish to leave me, theres nothing else i can do or say. i will just take it as my retribution.

i am so so depressed. all i wanna do is cry till my tears are dry..

2009-06-11T13:17:00.003+08:00

Office politics really sux and i'm glad tat i'm just n onlooker. not interested in getting involved in all this.

did not report for work yesterday, coz was really in pain and feeling weak and exhausted.but that did not stop me from going out wif family plus auntie and of coz wif Hubby.

and the best part is, hubby surprised me with a Victoria's Secret handbag!! thnx lao gong!!

not in the best of mood today. the only thing tats keeping me upbeat is, this weekend. its like i cant wait for every single weekend. hah.

this Sat, i'm going out wif Hubby. then on Sunday, going out wif fam plus all my siblings other halfs to Haw Par Villa. me & hubby already decided wat to wear. hehe.

on a sad note, me & Hubby argued again and its all bcoz of my stupidity.

talking abt stupidity, reading my frens blog sumtimes makes me feel so effing stupid. Stupid becoz i did not noe how to appreciate them..

2009-06-02T11:09:00.002+08:00

last sunday, we planned not to to meet each other till friday. but we missed each other so badly, that we meet up yesterday after work. Hubby came over to my place and had dinner together wif my family.and he stayed till 9 plus and then we chilled for abit more and off he went home.

but there was a slight hiccup coz yours truly here was frustrated about sumting. n hubby had to console me till like 1am. sorry sweets.

found it difficult to wake up today. kept snoozing the alarm clock.

its only tuesday and i really cant wait for the weekend.

Heard the below excerpt on 987fm yesterday, and it make me smile like a monkey.

Children in the front of the car, can cause accidents.

Accidents in the back of the car, can cause children!

lolz!

tats all for now i guess.

and to u, i love u loads!muax!

2009-06-01T10:32:00.005+08:00

i'm feeling down in the dumps today..

suddenly today, i feel like i do not noe Haqqim at all. its like everything happens too fast. but tats not the main problem.

the main problem is i am feeling extremely guilty towards someone. and i am really very sorry to him. how i wish i cud explain things to him. and to u boy, there is nothing else i can say, except, i am sorry. i dun expect u to forgive me. i just do not wan any hard feelings between us. thank you for showering me wif ur love. even if its for just awhile, i really do appreciate it. and i'm sorry for not loving u back..

work is effing bored today. basically doing nothing till maybe, after lunch later.

on a brighter note, i had an enjoyable weekend. saturday was out wif fam plus all our other halfs. Me&Haqqim, Sis&Fuad and Bro&Atiqah. and was home till late.

Sunday i was out again wif Haqqim and yes, it was a much needed outing.

and so yes guys, i'm officially attached now. with sumone who loves me for who i am and also whom i loves very much. never did i expect to get him after MH. i thought no one can ever replaced MH. but Haqqim proves me wrong.

and to Haqqim, i may be a pampered bitch somtimes, but just noe that i do love u alot.

and to Haikal, i am really sorry. i do hope u r reading tis.

ps: the pics above are just random. taken at Marina Barrage & Kenny's last day wif NOK.

2009-05-25T09:12:00.002+08:00

I had a fantastic weekend with Hym but his stupid reservist spoils my monday!!

PS: Haqqim & Rara Heng. hehehe!

2009-05-21T15:28:00.002+08:00

you are really irritating the hell out of me!!
aargh!!
can i have my freedom back plz..

2009-05-13T16:30:00.005+08:00

I am going to start anew. I'm not going to text or call MH. I am going to move on and not look back again. I know its going to be difficult but I will be strong.

Oh, i am getting my job back at NOK and i'm starting this Monday.
I'm all nervous & jumpy seh. tak tahu kenape. but all in all
Alhamdullilah.

The pics below are taken last Saturday, at Sentosa.
I was out on a date with Haqqim aka Eric.
All i can say is the date, was oh-so-awesome.

As for now, I am having the best time of my life.
Thank you for loving me.

2009-05-08T19:57:00.001+08:00

i miss Mohd Husaini so, so much..

2009-05-06T20:21:00.004+08:00

Nothing much to update.

haiz..just now i stupidly went to text MH..

no more blonde hair for me and i do not noe why i feel sad.

and i miss the guy below. see the similarity pose??

Happy Birthday to u, my dear boy!!

ok tats all.
PS: I miss Fazly.

2009-05-06T01:34:00.002+08:00
i really do not noe who shd i choose.
and this thing is really killing me.
i do not wan to hurt anybody.

maybe, i shd just leave them both.
this way, i will hurt nobody but myself.

plz, help me..

2009-05-05T20:31:00.002+08:00

its so hot nowadays. aiyah.so wats up wif me aye?well, life pretty boring.still jobless, just rotting at hm wif the occasional outings wif family n dates.

and now i am trying my very best to keep away from MH. i am trying hard not to text or call him so often.but its hard when every single thing i do,it just has to reminds me of him.sometimes, its just so so hard to move on.

and to forget him, i joined Tagged.make frens wif many, and met up wif alot of guys.some are just plain jerks n some are like heaven sent.
so now, i am very closed with two guys. they are the best of the whole lot that i've met.

one of them is a malay guy who works as a chef & another one is a chinese guy who is an events coordinator. and the only thing tat i can tell u at this moment is tat, i am torn between two. but, i'm having the best time of my life.

and i am slowly trying to breakaway with the other guys and alhamdullilah, it is going well.

and tis saturday, i have a date wif the chinese one, and at tis moment, he is the one tat is keeping me sane.

will try to update on a regular basis ok?

2009-04-27T19:29:00.002+08:00
Lazy & Nothing to update!!!
Just pictures!!

2009-04-12T15:22:00.000+08:00
How i wish, i am dead.

The loneliness is killing me, slowly..

2009-04-10T00:07:00.003+08:00

the purpose if this update, is to wish my baby sister, a Happy 18th Birthday.

and my wish for her is, u noe how much,i love you.

2009-03-29T17:19:00.007+08:00

i'm at hm on a rainy sunday afternoon. haiz..

boring to the max seh.

3 guys ask me out but i dun wan to. why? bcoz i dun wan them to dissappear after meeting me. haha.

so, as some of u already noe, last friday, was my last day with NOK Asia after, like, 10 months there. it was emotional for me coz the job and the ppl there is all very nice, especially to me.

then after work, i went to watch Kumar show at Orchard Towers wif aunt & her friends.

and i receive accessories, keychain with my name on it and a handmade tissue wrapper n picture frame.

haiz, now i have to find another job seh. back to sending numerous resumes and going for nerve-wrecking interviews.

i need a hug like, super badly.

ok, enjoy the pictures n hv a good week ahead.

as for me? i will be rotting at hm, hah.

(the NOK cap that i've never put it on, cause its so unglam!)

(My workstation)

(The gifts from my lovely colleagues)

(Me & Mdm Ong - the one who teaches & being patient with me)

(Me & my 'Stead', Kenny)

(Kenny, yours truly & Jasmond)

and the pics below are the ones that make my job much more interesting.

pics below taken while watching Kumar.

dun mind my eyes, they were hurting like hell. thus, the ghost like face of me.

ok thats it. i'm tired.
bye!

2009-03-27T16:08:00.001+08:00

today marks the last day of me working with NOK Asia.

i'm depressed coz i need to find another job.

wat a life i have!

2009-03-19T15:09:00.003+08:00

i hv been feeling like shit this daes.

and i do not noe why.

its like everything i do seems so wrong.

i really do not noe wat is wrong wif me.

maybe, i'm just lonely. lonely like hell.

the only person i cud talk to and share all my troubles is my lil sis.

but i can expect her to be by my side 24/7 listening to my rants.

i admit, i have quite a handful of guy frenz whom i noe frm Tagged. and i hv tis guy who is closed to me whom i will talk to every nite before i sleep.

but it is not the same. my mind is still thinking of MH. tis is not easy for me. really not easy.

sometimes, i really wan to call him up n tell him to patch things up wif me. but if i were to do tat, then my life will continue spiralling downwards.

i get so jealous when i see couples out there. but the jealousy gets worse when i see my sis n her bf. but i cant tell her tat rite? tat is her right.

i miss going out on weekends wif a bf, i miss those kisses n hugs, i miss the lovey goodnite smses,

i miss sumone listening to my stupid stories.. i just miss everthing..

i wan to be loved all over again..

is there someone out there who's willing to love me for who i am..

2009-03-15T17:01:00.008+08:00

Alrite. here are the pics taken last saturday!!

i have been feeling extremely lonely.
my heart is so empty.i do not noe what my heart is missing.
maybe, i'm missing MH too much.

yes its true, i hv been going on alot of dates (most of then are jerks btw), but it's not the same.
i juz feel so, so empty.and wats up wif guys, who always go for looks n sex.
makes me feel a tinge of regret breaking up with MH.and why do these guys feel as tho diorang ni manenyer hotstuff entah.

last friday, while otw to work, MH texted me. it gave me mixed feelings.

ok so, i juz got back from mustafa ctr with my siblings n aunt. then we had chilli crab for brunch and it was oh-so-nice.

and on saturday, i went out wif my cousins.
then we has shisha-ing session at my house.

have a good week ahead ppl!!

2009-03-11T16:08:00.002+08:00

my mind is all messed up.
i cant tink straight.

why do guys always tink of sex? or wanting to hv sex?

why izit so difficult to understand guys?

i miss MH so much. so so much.

2009-03-01T18:43:00.004+08:00

its the 1st of March already huh?

so bloody fast.

its 645pm on a rainy sunday afternoon and i am effing sleepy. but if i were to tido, it means, monday will come fast. and i'm dreading going to work.uurgh!!

so, last friday, i took off from work n did not even call bk the office.

i went out wif aunt, mum & sis, and beloved cousins ie: the fierce Rafiq, the oh-so-hot Fiqar and the uber gentleman Acap.

yes, i took off bcoz i wanted to go out wif them.

we met at far east, n me n sis was late due to a mis-communication with the Mum.

upon reaching, we had brunch at one the eateries at fareast and tawaf the whole of fareast for Rafiq's items.

then we all went to three monkeys, to have dessert and proceed hm.

then on saturday, i mit them up again, to geylang n town.

and i had a date aft tat wif a guy i juz knew.

i lazy lah to update long, long. so i let the pix do the talking okays.

see the pic above? tats me wif the sweetness, Acap.
he's like 6years younger then me, but hell yeah, from the way he was treating me, how i wish i cud have a bf like tat. haha.so the romantic n very the gentleman seh. haha.

i have a splitting headache n how i wish theres no need for me to go to work tomorrow.

have a gooooood week ahead peepz!!!

2009-02-23T20:01:00.005+08:00

its 8pm now, and i'm at home updating this lil blog of mine.

my weekend was a-ok.

on friday nite, my lil sis helped me take out ALL of my hair extensions coz my hair was like a mini jungle. and my hair was like very the kusut already.

so, on saturday, i went to rebond my hair lah seh n i am liking the result. haha.

was at the salon for nearly 5hrs seh. patah pinggang u duduk lame2 kat situ. hehehe.

the go bak and my favouritest anak sedare came to my house. so my saturday i spent it at hm but nevertheless, it was fun.

on sunday, i went out wif MH. u guys noe lah eh, we went out as frenz aje.

me just after rebond. parents brought me to admiralty pasar malam.

this is me with the ever so cute Nur Zuraina. jus look at her face.

me waiting for MH to fetch me on Sunday.

and i have something to say to tis fren of mine.

i hope she will be reading this.

Babe, i'm sorry for not maintaining our frenship.

even tho i noe u hated me for not keeping in contact wif u after our contract ended.

i cannot help it but to feel abit jealous when i see u going out with our ex-colleagues.

it made me realise tat i shudnt wait for ppl to ask me out.

wateva it is, i am really sorry.

and thanx for all the advises you gave me on msn y'dae nite.

i really appreciate it.

u r still the best and one of my frens who really undastands me.

and to MH, i noe u r deeply sorry, and still loves me alot.
but i am really extremely confused. i'm sorry, sweetheart.
Have a good week ahead people!

2009-02-20T16:50:00.002+08:00

oh yes, will be outta office in 30 mins time.

all i wan to do is to really enjoy my weekends.

i wan to sleep and wake up late.

rest & relax

eat all the food that i wan

take loads n loads of pictures of me

dress up nice nice

and go out and have loads of fun no matter who i am wif and where i go!!

Lets see if all tat happens. aye??

All i want is to have an enjoyable weekend..

u readers too!!!enjoy your weekend!!!

2009-02-19T11:54:00.001+08:00

Tell me what i should do now. Tell me how to make things better. I'm still a girl afterall. No matter how tough i act if front of you, i still bleed.. i am still hurt. I'm still a GIRL. And it's not fair for a girl to be the tough one in the relationship. It's not fair, when she has gone through more than enough boy.

(excerpt above is taken from a fellow blogger)

I just find it so true. for my situation rite now.

i really miss him..

how i wish i have the courage to tell him that i wan to meet him..

2009-02-18T09:20:00.003+08:00

its only 920am and i'm feeling so miserable already.

i was halfway doing my work, when at ard 845 i feel so sleepy tat i decided to catch some shuteye in the toilet. haha. now, i feel abit better.

regarding my previous entry, yes, he did call me at 1208pm during my lunchtime and we chatted till like 1315 like tat. of course, i was elated. i even read him the whole passage of my previous entry to which he said he was speechless.
then the day goes by and i missed his calls twice bcoz i was doing some fucking scanning. but i called him back and we chatted and i was all smiling again.

then he called me again n again i missed it. i called back, his hp was off, meaning his batt went flat.so, of coz my face was like shit all the way hm. but ydae, i went out for awhile, alone, to get some fresh air.

reach hm, did some karaoke-ing with the dad and again i missed his calls. twice. coz i was charging the damn hp. so i called back. but he did not answer. then i sent him 1 text msg. then continue calling him but still no answer. so i gave up and went to find something to wear to work tomorrow.

then i saw my hp suddenly light up and i quickly rush to answer his call.

i pick up and apologize for not picking up his calls. and i ask why he did not pick up my calls and he retorted back by saying, since u dun pick up mine, then why shd i pick up yours? whateva u did to me, i'll do the same to u. for example, if u show me love, then i show u mine. tat got me speechless. but i did not cry. i still talk, laugh n even sing with him.

then we hanged up for awhile and we went to do our own stuffs.

i was lying in bed when he called me to call him bk using my hm phone. to which i said i was lazy to get outta bed coz theres no phone in my room so i just used my hp. so, i called him bk and we chatted for awhile.

remember my previous entry, when i said i chatted wif him the nite before from 2332 to 0038hrs?ok, so apparently, he said after the talk wif me, one of his other girly companions, called him and they chatted till like 4am. haha. then he continued talking abt the conversation completely oblivious to my feelings. to which i suddenly said i wanted to sleep. after which he realised he had jus said sumting wrong. ya, he did apologize but i cant take it anymore so we hanged up and i went to sleep.

when i wake up this morning at 6am, i sent him 3 text msgs. i thought he was still sleeping. then reach office, i missed call him and he called me back. and we argue. and he hanged up on me. Twice. and i stupidly apologize even tho its not my mistake.

i do not noe what my feeling are rite now. whether its my fault or not, at the very end i still have to bear the brunt of it. i am still at the losing end. and he still have his girly companions and here i am licking my own wounds..

i noe i hv to be strong. but i really cant. i realli need a hug and a shoulder to cry on..
c'mon rara, move on n dont look back ever again. he doesnt need u at all.

i switch off my hp for fear, i wud sent him unnecessarily text msgs.

but all tat i want is for him to call, or at the very least, send me an sms..

plz. let me past thru today..

2009-02-17T09:47:00.002+08:00

when i wake up tis morning, i told myself that today wud be the day in which i try not to text or call Hym. And no, i'm not referring to Mohd Husaini.

and its not even 10am yet, i almost wanted to call Hym once and text Hym twice. but i managed to stop myself. its quite easy actually. i just have to think of the girly companions he have at work. tat wud be enuff to make me jealous and i will not wan to text or call him. but, to tell u the truth, it is emotionally difficult for me.

my hp wud be on total silent mode and i will be checking it every few seconds only to get dissappointed coz theres no sms from Hym but from sumone else. haiz..

was on the phone wif him last nite from 2332pm till 0038am. the weird thing was i was already extremely tired and was almost ready to go to sleep. i did not pick up any kols from the other guys and even rejected Mohd Husaini's calls. but, when he call me to ask me to call him back, i was totally wide awake. i called him back even tho my prepaid was getting low. haha.

and the conversation with Hym, was fun tho, there was jokes in between and also awkward silences between us. there was a time when he talk abt his girly companions and yes, it hurts me and there was the jealousy pangs. but what do u expect me to do rite? so i juz played along n smiled n laugh. but deep deep inside, all i wan to do is cry. haha.

serves me right i guess. it was my fault from the beginning.

another reason for me to be quiet, is because he said i am egoistic. ok, maybe i am. but i did apologize to him a gazillion times to which he juz bt bodoh. haha. and he also said that he rather admit defeat and be quiet.

so, i guess i'm learning from Hym. i am admitting defeat as in i noe i wont get Hym bk, even if i shed bloody tears. i will try my very best to be quiet today n so on and so forth.

but then again, i noe myself. sooner or later, i will still be the one texting or calling Hym.

its not tat i dun wan to be strong, but my heart really cant take another blow.

and it seems he doesnt mind that i dont text or call Hym.

i do hope he will either call or text me today. coz i really, really miss Hym..

Maybe, just maybe, i shud go back to Mohd Husaini.. but that will mean, i'm just plain stupid.

well, maybe I am..

2009-02-16T10:04:00.003+08:00

I’m sorry if I have been too demanding.
I’m sorry if I have always been so persistent.
I’m sorry if I have been so petty.
I’m sorry if I have been so fucked up.
I’m sorry if I shut off and refused to listen.
I’m sorry if I was so stubborn.
I’m sorry if I was being so egoistic.
I’m sorry if I keep on thinking that I was always right.
I’m sorry if I do or say things without thinking and hurt you so bad.
I’m sorry if it looks as though I’m not helping to work things out.
I’m sorry if I don’t bother replying to your messages whenever we fight.
I’m sorry if I hung up on you whenever we fight on the phone.
I’m sorry if I shun you off and seems like I don’t need you anymore,
When the fact is I need you so bad by my side.
I’m sorry I made things hard for us.
I’m sorry if I was being a pain.
I’m sorry if I don’t wish to give in sometimes.
I’m sorry for being a bad girlfriend.
I’m sorry for everything that I have done.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

my previous entry is all a lie.
i did not have a blast weekend.
it was disastrous and its all my fault.
i noe tis is all too early.
i shudnt have fall in love so soon.
maybe i was desperate. desperate to be loved all over again.
and i am shattered. shattered bcoz i hurt someone. and the pain is so unbearable until i feel like hurting or slashing myself.
i'll tell you guys wat happen when i'm really over him.
i really cannot afford to have another heartbreak.
but then again, i am to blame.
and to you, you may not be reading this,
but from the bottom of my heart, i am really sorry.
pls god, help me tide over this..

2009-02-02T14:23:00.000+08:00
i'm currently not in the best of mood.

will update. soon.

2009-01-26T21:03:00.001+08:00
Somebody pls teach me how to maintain friendship plz..

2009-01-23T13:49:00.001+08:00
finally its friday.

the last day of work for the month of january. i cant wait for work to end.
and i still have last minute shipment to do seh. leceh seh.

so i have one week of no work and i'm going to enjoy tat.

oh ya, ydae my aunt came bk from Australia and bought me alot of oh-so-cute dresses.

so, enjoy the looong weekend peepz.

2009-01-21T10:29:00.003+08:00

i'm so bored right now.

all my work has been done. and has been surfing the net till i do not noe wat else to surf anymore.

and its only wednesday today.

i feel like changing my blogskin since i have all the time in the world but when i look at the html, i get all confused. dah lupe seh mcmane nak bt. abe nk suro adik tersayang buatkan, member tak terbuat2. haha!

the only motivation is that i wont be working for 1 whole week for CNY celebrations. best kan??

i miss my boyfren seh. i nak kluar ngn dier. tp bf taknak kluar ngn me bcoz i die die taknak naik moto. how leh.. so susah..

and i had fun editing my pic juz now.

and the first pic is my current desktop wallpaper and the 2nd pic is on my hp wallpaper.

yes, i am THAT bored.

bye.

2009-01-20T12:00:00.002+08:00
chinese new year is just around the corner.

and when u work in a company, where the majorities are the Chinese, there's bound to be loads & loads of food in the office.

and because i am the only Malay/Islam soul in the office, i was naturally given and can share the goodies with them.

i noe this colleagues of mine, means no harm. but, i am a person that is extremely cautious abt food. not bcoz i wan to stay skinny, but i realli wan to make sure that the food that goes into my stomach is Halal. so i find it difficult to say or to reject the. normally i jus take and then silently throw it elsewhere. of coz they dun give me pork, but its those cakes, biscuits, or other peculiar food that worries me.

there was once i rejected outright but politely when my senior ordered some japanese foods and she said that i'am the holy and pious type. of coz i dun mind when she said taht of me. but it hurts to noe that she doenst undastand. and its worse when the old uncles (malay) who did eat that japanese food.

i may not be that holy or pious, u may not see me praying at times, u may see me putting on nail polish or wearing skimpy (but no so skimpy) outfits, but i have always been very particular wif food.

i noe some ppl wud say, wats the difference wif me eating halal food when i've done all the abovementioned, but, atleast it makes feel better that i dun hv any 'bad' food inside me.

i tink i have done enuff sins that i noe and some that i dun noe of, i dun tink i need anymore to add to my already mounting sins. haha.

i dun get it why ppl can go eat at pastamania or botak jones without feeling any guilt. i often see this ppl and they look like they have the best lifes that i cud only envy from afar. no, i dun envy them bcoz they eat non halal food, what i envy is, they drink, they dress skimpily and their life is still the best. with a good bf/gf, great friends, a wonderful career.

but take a look at me.

what do i have?

2009-01-19T11:49:00.003+08:00
Mohd Husaini jus got home at 8am tis morning after 1 whole nite of chillaxing wif his qirana mates at a 24hr coffeeshop.

i dun undastand how he can take it not sleeping for the nite. from ard 11pm the nite before till 8am tis morning.

and, all they talk abt was juz abt bikes, bikes, bikes.

he's working the afternoon shift today so rite now he's in slumberland.

and, if i'm with him rite now, i wud neva let him sleep.

yes, i am tat bad.

and when he is fully awake later, i'm gonna interrogate him, for a text message he sent me juz now.

Mohd Husaini - Forever with his bike and stuuuuuuuupid mates. Grow up will u boy???

aargh!!!

2009-01-13T11:29:00.002+08:00
FarraHuz.
2 years love, 3 year lies.

Tats wat he said to me of our 5 year relationship.
I do not know why, but i tink its true.

so, once again, FarraHuz is on the verge of breaking up. I realli do not noe what we both are waiting for. Its like i cant let go of him and he cant seem to let go of me.

I admit that mostly it has been me who has done all the lying. I noe i'm the one who played behind his back and till now he has never fogotten it and keeps harping on it.

And i sincerely apologize to him and thanking him for tolerating me.

In the whole 5 years, i have never been the one to initiate a break-up. It has always been him. why? its bcoz i still keep the thought that he will be the one that i'm going to marry. so i just keep quiet and let him be.

Yesterday, was our 5 years and 2 months together. And he ask for a break-up again.

I do not know what else to do anymore.

I thought of asking them out for dinner today. But I decided not to.

2009-01-12T12:07:00.001+08:00
i miss these people.

Shah
Fidah
Shidah
Akbar.

i really do.

lets meet up for dinner can? plz..

2009-01-07T09:52:00.003+08:00
trying so so hard not to fall asleep in the office lah seh.
slalu mcm gini. even if i slp for 24hrs straight, i will still feel slpy. haha.

so, its 2009 already huh? wat is my resolution, u ask?

firstly,it is to be a grown-up girl of 23 (even tho i noe i look 17, haha) , meaning, to be more mature and responsible and to stop acting like i'm still young. i shd hv a full time job anytime soon and get ready to be married. haha.

secondly, if possible, i do not wan to miss any of my prayers. its difficult coz there's the lazyness when i'm at home.and when i'm the office, being the mentel me, i find it a chore to remove all my makeup and to put them back agen after every zuhur n asar. plus, i will be decked in perfume. so, i'll only get to pray in the morning and the nite one. i sometime miss the maghrib one, coz i'm rushing hm from work.

i hv only two but it seems so susah.

ok stop here. my eyes hurt.

2009-01-05T14:36:00.002+08:00
its like i have alot to update abt. tp mcm mls gitu.

and its like i have alot to do but i do not noe wat.

i TRY to update wif pictures tonite. try eh. tak janji.

PS: Do i look better wif straight or permed hair????

2008-12-24T09:08:00.002+08:00
i'm on crying mode today and it seems the weather is crying together with me.

wake up frm sleep, cry.

take shower, cry.

getting dress, cry.

on the way to work, cry.

reach office, soaking wet and trying hard not to cry.

received an unexpected text msg, and tis time, non stop cries.

had to dash for the toilet.

and to you, my dear girlfren, thanx alot. i will heed your advises. its as tho i received a much needed hug from you from afar.

on half day leave today.

and will be having a super long weekend, coz friday company shutdown.

enjoy the holidays.

2008-12-23T12:00:00.002+08:00
not in a good mood and i hate tis feeling..

yesterday, took half day leave from work to hv celebratory lunch for my parents 24th wedding anniversary but my sickening brother was not wif us coz he rather watch sum movie wif sum stupid bitch then be with the family. pastu ader hati nk mintak aku pinjam duit. thank god lah ok u hv a good sister like me.

then after that i went out to boyfren for shopping & dinner & jus to spent time together..we had fun for the 1st part of the day, where he was storytelling me abt his holiday in malacca. and i kept asking him whether he misses me or not n he said he miss me terribly when it comes to his bedtime. hehe.

we went to town, plaza singapura and i only bought for myself 2 pumps and bought for him a tshirt.

then we sit down n chilled together, we had a talk and it leads to arguments with tears falling down my cheeks..

why izit tat i have a bf tat likes to rake up my past? it all started bcoz he saw my fucking coloured extensions. the red one. and he told me tat bcoz of tat he will marry me lambat. what the hell is the bloody connection wif my hair & marriage??and he continued talking abt my past mistakes and tat i was selfish bcoz i dun wan to ride the bike. so tat pisses me off real bad and resulted me shouting at him. and he dropped the bomb, he suddenly said that his parents hated me.

the moment he said tat, his face change as tho he knew he had said sumting hurtful. tat was it. i cried again. non stop tears. i cried not bcoz his parents hated me. i dun care abt them. but i cried bcoz of the reason they hate me. they hate me bcoz I menyusahkan anak dier sebab i takut naik moto. and tat their beloved son has to follow my every word and not to ride the bike when he's going out wif me..

if u were me, wud u accept that reason??

it is my fucking problem if i dun wan to ride. r u going to bear FULL responsibility when i get into an accident?? is ur beloved son going to marry me if i am paralysed?? oh come on, by juz putting on red extensions, dier nk lmbt2 kahwin ngn aku. mcm bagus sgt gitu anak kau.

and to bf, i dun fucking care, if u wan to marry me or not. coz wif my credibility, i can find sumone else who is willing to marry me for who i am.

and kau nk ckp aku pompuan sial, take a good look at ur lil sister. she has blonde hair, piercings and TATTOO. she shd be ur main concern not me. and the best part is, u told me that when i get married, u wan me to pakai the tudung, and look at ur beloved mum!! how old is she?? nape dier tak pakai tudung?? why is she wearing tshirts and those figure hugging pants???

i noe i am very the kurang ajar. but really i cannot take this animore.

how i wish i never knew u..

we managed to calm down before we get home. and i did not wan to make tings worse. so we r ok for now.

my heart is really broken. you really do not noe how much u have hurt me.

2008-12-19T10:14:00.002+08:00
finally its friday.

but so wat, its not like i'm going to enjoy the weekend..

did not wan to come to work today, but seeing that i had tings to do, i decided to go to work. when reach ofis, tot of taking half day pulak. but when i text him, he was angry bcoz i went to work. so ya, we r engaged in a cold war right now. its has been like this for the past weeks..

i do not noe what my feelings are rite now.. he text me juz now saying he dun even care abt me and tat he feel numb towards me. in simple words, he juz dun love me. how can he say tat rite? i dun tell him i feel the same way too bcoz i tink our relationship can still be saved and also bcoz i dun wan to hurt him more. but too bad he doesnt undastand..

all tis stupid arguments happen bcoz i dun wan to ride the bike. and everything is also my fault.

i got no mood to continue blogging.

i dun wan to cry in the office..

stay strong rara. be strong.

i fucking hate my life..

2008-12-17T08:30:00.002+08:00
good morning to all.

cant believe its wednesday today. two more days to go till the weekend. its not tat i'm looking forward to the weekend anyway.

why do guys always sleep like a log? how come they can sleep for 15 hours straight without going to the toilet just amaze me. so, ydae, hubby came bk hm at 10am after a nite shift and oh yes, he slept all the way till 6am tis morning. tu pun pasal i call him for like the 5648552th times.and he pick up the call like he has done nothing wrong. member selambe je seh..

wat makes me bingit is that, we planned to mit after i finish work, when all plans has been made, he juz had to blew it. y? bcoz he terlajak tido. geram kan?? arh!!

when he is wif his brothers or beloved bike, smp tak tido pun tkpe seh. now u see how important i am in his life. i am no match when it comes to his bike n brothers.

and when i tell him all tat, he said i'm nagging. bloody hell.

and this coming weekend, he will be off to Malacca with his family. leaving me all alone and bored at home.

dahlah he's holding two jobs. dah tu tkpe, bile free time ajer, its either he's doing sumting with his bike or out with his friends. time for me? to him its juz a waste of time. dier ckp ajer rindu aku, tp padahal, padahal.

oklah, change topic.

ydae nite, i was online on MSN and Shah suddenly IM me. sweet seh member. he said nearly every morning, he will see me at boon lay rushing to get to work. and he said i look tiny among the crowd at boon lay.haha. so i told him, i wil take that comment as a compliment. to my surprise, he said, that i have much more self-confidence now.

that got me stumped. yes, its true, i have loads of confidence in myself now. but for someone, who i have not seen for a few mths, did not even talk to, can see the difference in me by juz 1 sentence that i said. tat really touches me.he's really a friend. a good one.

even tho, i am always the quiet one. neva once i ask them out for meet-ups, but being the greatest frens they are, they always neva fail to ask me out or in a way cheer me up.even tho i dun hv tat much frens, but i'm glad i have them. My ITE mates. you know who you guys are. i miss you all..

suddenly feel like crying..boo hoo hoo..

and today morning, i check my bank balance expecting to see a 2 digit figure, but i was surprised to see a 3 digit figure. i swear i shd have less money in the bank. mane seh tu duit dtg. nak kate gaji, bkn leh.. but nonetheless, Alhamdullilah. haha.

i'm gonna be stuck at home this weekend and i dread it.

2008-12-15T13:17:00.000+08:00
i am i need of new pumps shoes. especially simple n black ones.

but being the choosy me, its soooo effing difficult to find one!!

aargh!!!

i miss my boyfren hugs badly lah..

2008-12-08T13:42:00.005+08:00

Pictures from NOK D & D and from outing with boyfren to the National Bike Weekend.

i love my boyfren loads.

have a great week ahead.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha.

2008-12-05T14:15:00.003+08:00
i am at work now and as usual on a friday like tis, its boring. damn boring.
cant wait to get out of the office seh.

havent been spending alot of time with hubby lately. coz he busy working 2 jobs. i.e his NS and part time delivery rider with Pizza Hut. sometime, i juz wish his stint with NS will end soon. haiz..
and bcoz of tat i hv been very temperamental towards him. ape dier bt, ade je yg tak kene ngn aku.but he has been extremely patient wif me.

might be going shopping with fidah tomorrow and that is the only ting that is keeping my spirits up.

Sweetheart, i really miss you deeply. Pls can you spare some time for me..

2008-12-02T15:38:00.002+08:00
read sumting and i feel so bloody stupid.

cant help it but it makes me so terase. makes me feel guilty. extremely guilty

wat else can i do. wat else can i say. it is all my fault.

i'm juz so utterly n downright bodoh.

serves u right rara. u deserve it.

2008-11-28T11:55:00.002+08:00
been feeling weak since ydae coz of the menses. and i am on half day today.

going to the company D&D tomorrow. do not noe whether to feel excited or nervous coz i'm not tat close wif anybody even tho i noe all of them.

do not even noe what to wear. thought of putting on a maxi dress, i hv loads of them, and suddenly changed my mind to wear a long cheongsam. see lah whether i can go find it. sis is going out wif her boyfren today and boyfren is out at work. cant seem to shop alone. maybe ask my mum to go with me.

why must menses be so painful ar?

bye. going home soon.

2008-11-27T12:10:00.002+08:00
i do not noe why but i have this very strong feeling to meet them.

but i noe i wont get coz they are too busy (which i dun blame them) and

i cant coz my effing menses juz had to come today.

plz sumone grant me my wish.

2008-11-24T21:23:00.005+08:00
Pls do enjoy the pics. Taken last saturday at marina barrage.

Good nite everyone.

2008-11-24T10:09:00.002+08:00
my weekend totally sux.

on saturday, i was supposed to go out with him. and since he was working the night shift the day before, and me being a considerate girlfriend, i told him at ard 9am to sleep 1st until abt 3 pm. to which he agreed..

and so assuming that he was already asleep, i went about to do my own things. supposedly wanted to send mum to the doctor but went i'm all dressed up and already at the bustop, we found out that the clinic was closed on saturday and only open on sunday. feeling all pissed off, the whole fam decided to have bfast juz behind our block. then aft tat go home.

reach home and suddenly my fingers itchy to shop. gaji pe. so i ajak my littlest sis to sun plaza juz to waste money unneccessarily. and when i was browsing some maxi dresses, my mobile rang.it was him of coz. and he said he was going to his fren's nikah at yishun. alah, budak2 dier. budak qirana. and he ask me along.kwn dier nikah, yg aku nak sebok2 tu ape pasal??to which i replied, naik moto? then sorry i'm not going. then he said ok wateva. tat was only for starters.

when i get home, i do not noe why but i was all pissed off.i shouted at him for only caring about his frenz and not abt me. i told him, why izit when i text him, he did not reply and when his frenz kol, dier bole tersadar frm his tdo? to which he replied "oh, my hp was on the loudest mode and it was right beside his ear."then bile aku ckp, abe i msg u tak dgr ah? he shut up.
well, he did pujuk me saying that he will onli go off for awhile and then we wud go out. so yeah, when he said tat i did feel a bit better. so i let him go.tat was ard 1pm.

so off he goes with me feeling a bit sore.and at ard 3pm it started to rain very heavily at yishun and swang. and memandang kan he naik moto, of coz he had to wait till the rain stop pe baru leh gerak. he told me to siap at ard 430 which i did. then he text me saying tat he will park his stupid bike at his frens place and to meet me at yishun mrt.so i agreed. off i went to mit him at yishun mrt. when i reach yishun,i kol him twice but theres no answer.tinking that he was on a crowded bus and cud not pick up his hp, i kol him agen. and he picked up. and he fuckingly told me, he was already at sembawang soaking wet.

i tried not to shout as i was in a public place. and he told me this. "tadi i tgk hujan dah reda so i naik lah moto. pastu kat tengah jalan, hujan lebat pulak". i was super mengamuk alreadi. so before i act like a crazy woman, i hang up and stayed there and waited for him. after wat seems like eternity, he finally arrives at 5.32pm. i saw him fucking wet but i dun give a damn. and he still has the cheek to ask me to salam him.

took the train and off we go to marina. sebab aku nk sgt pegi marina barrage. in the train i was tinking its no use i sulk. so i make the first step to talk to him and after that its like nothing happen. but my heart still feels sore.

sunday more worse. oleh kerana kwn nye tu dah kahwin, kate budak design, mesti lah pegi escort kan. so i let him go lah. tinking i get to meet him later. abe smp aku dah tido, dah bgn member lum lg balik. so aku msg lah dier, dier ckp dier ngah lepak ngan brothers dier, so jgn kacau. dier ckp dier ngn brothers dier bknnye slalu, dgn aku hari2 pe bole jumpe. tat was the fucking last straw. i was hopping mad and we both are having our world war now yang ke brape, aku tak tahu.

yg aku geram skali, dier lebih pentingkan kwn2 dier.dier tak kasi aku kluar ngn kwn aku smp aku dah tkde kwn skrg.aku nak taruk coloured extensions kat rambut aku pun tak bole.mak bapak aku pun tak ckp ape2!! and i was bloody wishing on sunday, that i have loads of frenz.
why is my life like this huh? why cant i have normal frenz.. bloghopped juz now, and read something that hurts me alot. but then agen its not their fault. its mine.

will post pictures on marina barrage later after work.

aku nak nangis. bye.

2008-11-21T14:33:00.002+08:00
oh my goose..

its so fucking bored at work. its always like this e-v-e-r-y friday. trying very hard not to fall asleep.

oh yes, today is my Mummy's birthday. so, Happy Birthday Ibuku tersayang. i love you loads.
cant wait for time's up so i can go have a celebration with family. going out for a sumptuos dinner later.

and i tink i'm going to have a pretty busy weekend.

the only ting tat is making me happy is tat i'm getting paid today and definitely, i'm going to shop till i drop.

once agen, happy birthday mummy. i wan u to be healthy and wealthy always.

enjoy the weekendz!

2008-11-20T22:18:00.006+08:00
hey sorry for the lack of updates.

been going out with boyfren almost everyday afterwork and after that straight to bed.

work is a ok. just some family problem. but all is well now.

ok less talk. tgk gambar je lah eh.

saye dah ngantuk.

nak slp.

ITS MY MUM'S BIRTHDAY TOMORROW!! YAY!! GOING TO MAKAN2 AND CELEBRATE!!
YAY YAY!!

and

saye rindu semue kawan2 saye.

NITENITE.

2008-11-12T15:40:00.001+08:00

Syarrifah Nur Faraqin Syed Hashim & Mohd Husaini Mohd Yusoff.
5 years and counting.

FarraHuz
12/11/03

2008-11-11T12:22:00.002+08:00
its been 6 days since i last blogged.

will be doing a proper update soon okay.

and yes, tomorrow is 12/11/08.

FarraHuz turns 5.

5 difficult but beautiful long years together.

2008-11-05T12:47:00.002+08:00
as mentioned in my previous post, yes, yesterday was my hubby's birthday.

no big celebration or even meet up with him yesterday, i was too busy with work and family.
so sorry sweetheart. i will make it up to u tis friday. i love u so much dear.

i'm feeling kinda blue today. reach office with a fuckedup face together with a fuckedup attitude.
i just hate work nowadays.

why izit i do not have alot of friends? i get so jealous when i bloghopped and see ppl have great outings with their own sets of friends. i'm not saying that i dun have any friends at all. in fact i have the bestest bunch of frenz who's been with me for about 5 years. but why cant i have more friends? worse still, i dun even have a best fren.

it dawn upon me during raya. i did not even went out with any frens. not even wif hubby's frens.
i was either out wif family or at home waiting for guests. i do not wan tis to affect me, but sumtimes its juz so hard and sad for me.

why is it like that? am i such a bitch? am i un-likeable? or ppl juz hate to see the sight of me? or i'm juz forgettable? or isit sumting with my behaviour?

how i wish i have all the answers..

2008-11-04T22:24:00.001+08:00

Happy 22nd Birthday to you Sweetheart!!

I love you! i love you!

2008-11-02T22:54:00.006+08:00
i'm so effing tired. have fun going out wif my happy family.

so let the pictures do the talking.

and then i went to meet hubby. and after a loooooong time, i finally had the courage to ride the bike. hubby pun ape lagi, happy lah dier. haha.

ok then. will update agen.

have a gooooood week ahead peepz!!!

oh gosh, back to hell, i mean, work tomorrow..

2008-10-31T21:53:00.002+08:00

i went to work today with hubby by my side coz his bike kat workshop. so he had no other choice but to take the train. bcoz of the catfight we had yesterday, we both were quiet throughout the journey. i was staring into space, when hubby suddenly kissed my forehead. i do not noe why but i was deeply touched, so i hug him. and everything went back to normal.

work was ok, until i saw my colleague from the other office. 1 look at her, i noe she had juz finish crying. so i went to her and ask wat happen. while we were halfway talking, she had sumting to do. so around half an hour later, she sent me a lenghty email regarding what has happen. ok, so i tot it wasnt tat serious, as everybody makes mistakes. then after lunch, she called me, saying tat 2day was her last day at work.

i'm feeling sad coz she was my only confidante at work and that the malay staffs there is oh so little.

as usual, was bloghopping today, and i was reading an entry that really hurts me. i do not noe why. but its like i never existed in their lives. am i tat un-likeable or did they juz forget me? i tink that this is the 3rd time tis has happen. but then agen, who am i to say all this. maybe to them i juz a bitch and its better to forget me and let me be alone. and to them, if they happen to read this, i'm sorry if i have hurt u all in aniway. hope you all still treat me as ur fren/colleague.

on a happier note, i cant wait for payday, so i can, shop till i drop, with hubby and also my darling fidah. and november seems to be a hectic month for me. wats wif hubby's 22nd b'day, farrahuz 5th year anniversary, mummy's birthday and my company D & D on 29 Nov.

thats all for now.

and lastly, i love my boyfren!!

erm, happy halloween all!! haha!!

Love Story

2008-10-30T20:33:00.003+08:00

yes, i'm still very much in love with him.

being in love is a bliss. its juz simply wonderful.

cant wait to celebrate our 5th year together.

and oh yes, i made a new friend today. and she's the very 1st person to call me Rara.

got no mood to update more.

catfight with him.

again.

2008-10-29T21:54:00.005+08:00

ok. today i wan 2 talk abt work. bcoz, today, i feel exceptionally fed up with my job.

i am a shipping clerk with NOK Asia. basically, i'm doing shipment. export shipment and invoicing. every tuesdays n thursdays, i have export shipment to Batam. where i have to work very closely with my 2 storemen. i have to handle 20'gp or 40'gp containers and roughly about 15 to 20 pallets every week. and the most taxing part of the job is to go to the warehouse to paste labels on the pallets.

i not only handle batam shipments but also shipments to thailand, taiwan, indonesia, india, china and everywhere lah!

let me show u a pic of 1 pallet and its label. this is going to china.

yes, i pasted that. tahu, senget. mcm aku jgk. haha.

and i'm the only shipping personnel in the whole of NOK!!!

so thats basically my job scope.

and i'm juz a fucking temp.

and so, juz bcoz i'm a temp staff, i am PROHIBITED to take the company's transport.

which makes me pissed off real bad.

and to walk from tractor rd to boon lay mrt station, i can either choose to walk on the pathway which is besides a busy road or i can walk thru the connector park which is damn deserted and ful of irritating foreign workers.

today i walk thru the connector park. and let me show you how eerie it is.

yes, thats how quiet it is. reminds me of the connector park behind ITE Clementi.

so, if i quit now, i have to find another job. and sum may find it stupid if i quit juz bcoz i cant take the company transport.

but wat abt my safety? my feelings?

if you were me, what wud u do?

have a goooood day tomorrow peepz........

AND where the hell is this mohd husaini!!! plz stop making me worried!!!

2008-10-28T09:25:00.000+08:00
yes, i noe we r supposed to break up. but then again, you noe us, FarraHuz, its like we can neva break up. its like all talk but no action. One moment. u see us happy together, and the next we both are like sworn enemies. haha.

i'm at work now and am effing bored. supposedly today is my last day with NOK Asia, but they extended my contract till December. i have no more will to work with this company actually coz they discriminate temp staff. after like 6mths temping here, they told me i cant take the transport anymore coz i'm a fucking temp. and they expect me to walk from Tractor Rd all the way to Boon Lay mrt. i think i'm skinny and healthy enuff and dun need the exercise. so ya, my decision is to see what happen. worse to worse, i juz quit.

what did i do during the long weekend? Nothing. saturday, at home. sunday, at home. monday, at home.

yes, my life is boring.

will try to update frequently. even tho i noe no one will even bother to read my pathetic lil blog.

and pls dont tell my boyfren abt tis lil blog of mine. jus between me & u okies.

oh 1 more ting, call me Rara from now on. haha.

2008-10-18T19:58:00.001+08:00
for starters life is difficult..

2008-10-16T16:03:00.001+08:00
oh yes, finally it over..